Dilemma
Suddenly I have to report for work
knowing I could be in contact
with a deadly disease.
1984. I remember the panicky feeling,
supressed. It was new.
Nobody would give the information I craved.
If his blood got into mine, might I die?
I shouldn’t even be worrying about this,
my job is to look after him,
be there through night sweats,
pneumonia, Kaposi's
and when family don't come.
HIV. 'It's a sin'.
No!
They were stigmatised.
2020. First day of lockdown.
People staying home.
I drive to work along empty roads with questions.
No protective gear and if I’m infected,
how many will I pass it on to before I realize?
Two-pronged torment.
Will I take it home to my loved ones
or will I fail my patients?
No answers.
Be there to support; to report
the withdrawal of medical contact for over eighties,
death managed remotely,
no visitors, no GP,
hold their hands,
love them as they gasp for breath.
COVID. 'A protective ring.'
No!
They're being abandoned.
©Janet Henderson 6th March 2021 (first written March 2020).
A reflection on the similarities and differences between the initial UK phase of AIDS in the 1980's and COVID in the 2020's from a nurse's perspective.
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